Shadow Work Series: How To Self-Soothe

Posted by Ailuros M on June 19, 2023

Before the Journal Prompts

You can write prompts in 100 journals but until you learn to observe yourself in the moment, the contents of that journal will be useless. Part of shadow work is asking the right questions and when you’re first starting out, a question like “what am I most ashamed of?” is not a good place to start. To do shadow work is to be actively seeking unconscious behaviors. I’m talking heavy, traumatic, deceptive, sometimes dangerous parts of your psyche. None of those characters are coming to the surface without at least 1 or 2 temper tantrums and if you don't know how to comfort yourself when they show up, it’s gonna be some shit. So before you go dredging up stuff from your past, learn how to self-soothe.

Comes Self-Soothing

Self-soothing is a type of mothering process where we learn to nourish ourselves and tend to our inner child with soft tones and reassurance. The best way to act out this practice is to think of yourself as a loving parent and your emotional self, as a child. It will cry, scream and tantrum but it is your responsibility to make space for those emotions and teach them a better way of expression. You are in essence traveling back in time to be with and tend to the part of yourself that’s been hurting. Handle yourself with the care you’ve always deserved.

And Self-Soothing Looks Like...

Crying in the bathtub
Picking yourself up off the floor
Words of affirmation
Self-hugs
Telling yourself "I love you" & "I'm proud of you"
Days off
Meditating
Dancing
Being gentle with yourself
Self-encouragement
Reminders of how far you’ve already come
Showing up differently
Telling yourself the truth.
Validating your experiences
Taking a nap
Giving yourself permission
Deep Breathing
Taking walks in nature
Giving yourself the love that you've always wanted.

Self soothing allows you to create space to plant tiny pieces of kindness in your psyche. As you move through the healing process, lean on this practice.

When Shit Gets Tough, Remember..

These moments are temporary.

Sometimes it feels like a never-ending saga. You've been wronged and it can be easy to think that it will be like this forever. That's a lie. Remember all of the seasons you went through to become this version of yourself. A lot of those BIG moments from the past are now distant memories.

The only way out is through.

You didn't come this far to stop. Everything you want for yourself is happening throughout this entire process. You are leveling up significantly.

Emotional expression is healing.

Emotional triggers are indications that we have unresolved issues that need healing. When we experience difficult things and are forced to bottle up those emotions, our body remembers. When we feel our feelings we are not only deepening our relationship with ourselves, we are releasing old energies so that we can move on from the past and experience life in the present.

What’s to come is so. much. better.

Who you are on the other side of this journey is....
I mean, you'd be shocked to see that version of you. The power, the freedom, the peace. You feel at home in your body. Moving through life with an ease that only comes from knowing who you are and what you want. It's extraordinary to see. I love that for you.

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