If you are at war with your body, you can't be in it.

By design, we live in a world where people are more focused on the way a body looks than its health and the spirit housed within it. With so many of us at war with our bodies, it's no wonder the world feels so ungrounded and anxious.

We must learn to view our bodies with love—or nothingness.

I define this "Nothingness" as the ability to observe yourself in your body with the absence of thought. It is the pure act of witnessing. There is no judgment, opinion, disgust, or desire to change and mutilate its form. Just eyes looking at a vessel.

This Nothingness is a placeholder for love. If you can't love a part of yourself in the moment, you owe it to this powerful vehicle to think nothing. Conjure no negativity toward it, because it is dynamic as f*ck, even if the world has conditioned you not to see it.

We hover in this place of nothingness until the bubble pops. We are shaken out of this holding place with a desire to nourish these parts of ourselves intentionally and lovingly. We speak life over ourselves and discover love. We repeat this process over and over until it encompasses every part of our being with the love and reverence it deserves.

This journey from war to peace, from self-rejection to radical acceptance, is the path to body neutrality. And while it isn't one of the core principles of Sacred Sensuality, it's the crucial first step towards embodiment — the ability to fully inhabit our bodies and experiences.

The "nothingness" we cultivate, that space of pure observation without judgment, is the essence of body neutrality. It's a sanctuary where we can simply be in our bodies, without the weight of expectation or criticism.

So, take a deep breath, warrior goddess. Feel the rise and fall of your chest, the warmth of your skin, the beating of your heart. Let's explore how we can use body neutrality to dismantle the barriers to self-love and unleash the full spectrum of our sensual power.

Understanding the Mind-Body Disconnect

In a world that profits off our insecurities, it's no wonder we've become masters of disconnection. Our bodies, these magnificent vessels of pleasure and power, often feel like strangers, battlegrounds even. We're at war with ourselves, our minds racing while our bodies silently scream for attention.

This disconnect is a silent epidemic, stealing us away from the present moment and the full spectrum of our sensual selves. It manifests in a million tiny ways:

• The endless scroll: Numbing out on social media, avoiding the discomfort of our own company.
• The phantom pains: Aches and tension that have no physical origin, a manifestation of emotional stress.
• The sexless void: Going through the motions without truly feeling, a disconnect from pleasure and desire.

For women, this disconnect is often amplified. Our bodies are not our own, they are canvases for others' projections, policed and judged, our worth measured by external standards. We internalize these messages, creating a chorus of self-doubt that drowns out our intuition and silences our desires.

Trauma, societal pressures, and internalized shame create a chasm between us and our bodies. We learn to dissociate, to numb, to disconnect as a means of survival. But in doing so, we sacrifice our joy, our power, and our ability to fully experience life.

But here's the truth we often forget: our bodies are not our enemies. They are not problems to be solved, but allies to be embraced. They hold a wisdom far deeper than any societal standard, a power that transcends the noise of judgment and comparison.

Body Neutrality: A Path to Healing & Reconnection

Body positivity is great... when it's genuine. 

 By forcing ourselves to love every lump and bump when we're not quite there yet, creates more damage in the mind-body relationship.

We're not always going to wake up feeling like goddesses in our own skin, and that's okay. That's where body neutrality swoops in like a cool breeze on a hot summer day. It's about acknowledging your body as it is, without forcing yourself to feel anything in particular.

Instead of the constant struggle of loving or hating, body neutrality offers a gentler, more sustainable path to self love and acceptance. It's like a deep exhale after holding your breath for way too long. It's about recognizing your body as a vessel of experience, a source of wisdom, and a damn fine work of art – even if you're not head over heels in love with it every second of the day.

It's a radical act of self-love that liberates us from the tyranny of comparison and unrealistic expectations. It's about creating a foundation for real self-love to blossom. When we release the need to constantly judge and critique our bodies, we free up a whole lotta energy for pleasure, creativity, and living our best lives.

What's in it for you, you ask? Oh, just a sprinkle of magic, including:

Less stress, more zen: When you stop battling your body, you free up a ton of energy that can be used for more pleasurable pursuits (wink, wink).

Confidence boost: When you accept yourself as you are, your self-esteem gets a serious upgrade. You'll give less fucks, take more risks, and have fun doing it.

Tune in to your intuition: Your body carries a host of gut feelings and intuitive nudges, but you can't hear or feel them if you're spending all of your free time with critic inside your head. 

Overall glow-up: Seriously, ditching the body shame is like hitting the refresh button on your whole damn life. There’s so much life beyond the “what will they think..” narrative.

Uninhibited much?: When you feel safe enough to inhabit your body you open yourself up to a host of new sensations in your day-to-day. From the bedroom and beyond, taking ownership of your form awakens and liberates in the most decadent way possible. 

Body neutrality isn't a quick fix; it's a journey of unlearning, reconnecting, and embracing your inherent wholeness. It's about honoring your body's wisdom, listening to its whispers, and treating it with the kindness and respect it deserves.

Practical Tools for Reconnecting with Your Body

Sometimes the most potent medicine is the hardest to swallow. 

And when it comes to body neutrality, that medicine is being willing to see yourself.

I'm not talking about a quick glance in the mirror while you rush out the door. I'm talking about a deep, unwavering gaze that meets your own eyes and doesn't flinch. It's about bearing witness to the wild, messy, breathtaking miracle that is you.

You, a sentient being, inhabiting this flesh-and-blood vessel, navigating a world full of made-up rules and expectations. You, a cosmic masterpiece, a spark of divine energy, a living, breathing testament to the unfathomable mystery of existence.

Think about it: We were once stardust, then a tiny speck in our mother's womb, then a screaming newborn, and now... this. This complex, ever-changing, utterly unique being that somehow emerged from nothingness. Doesn't that deserve a little awe and reverence?

But how can we embrace this awe-inspiring truth if we're too afraid to even look at ourselves? If we're constantly averting our gaze, hiding our bodies, and shrinking away from our own reflection?

So, let's make a pact, right here, right now: We will look. We will bear witness to our bodies, in all their messy, magnificent glory. We will not shy away from the mirror, but rather meet our gaze with unwavering compassion and respect.

The Mirror as a Portal to Self-Acceptance

This isn't about forcing yourself to love what you see. It's about seeing at all. It's about softening your gaze, clearing your mind, and simply observing.

Here's a practice I've found incredibly powerful:

Soft Eyes, Open Heart:

Stand in front of a mirror (full-length is best). Take a deep breath and soften your gaze. Notice any judgments that arise, like "my stomach is too big" or "my thighs are too jiggly." With each inhale, imagine those thoughts dissolving like smoke. With each exhale, repeat a mantra of acceptance: "I see you, body. I am here."

A Full-Body Scan of Wonder:

Slowly scan your eyes over every inch of your body. Notice the curve of your spine, the color of your skin, the texture of your hair. Take in the details, the imperfections, the unique markings that tell your story. Let curiosity be your guide, not criticism.

Feel the Sensations:

As you look, bring your attention to the sensations in your body. Feel the weight of your feet on the ground, the softness of your skin, the gentle rhythm of your breath.

Release Judgment:

If critical thoughts arise (and they probably will), acknowledge them without judgment. Then, gently push them away with a deep exhale, like a soft breeze clearing away the clouds. Repeat this as many times as needed.

Explore Different Angles:

Don't just look straight on – turn, twist, and observe your body from every angle. Notice how it moves, how it feels, how it expresses your unique essence.

Repeat, Repeat, Repeat:

This practice isn't a quick fix, darling. It's a process of rewiring your brain, breaking free from a lifetime of negative self-talk. Those neural pathways have been well-worn, and it takes time and effort to create new ones. So, be patient with yourself, give yourself grace, and keep showing up for this sacred act of self-discovery.

Body Neutrality Affirmations to Anchor You:

Let's arm ourselves with some simple yet powerful affirmations to speak in the mirror. These are less about forcing positivity, and about planting seeds of truth that can blossom into self-acceptance over time:

• I see you.
• I love you.
• I value you.
• I appreciate you.
• I am grateful for you.

Repeat these phrases as you gaze at yourself, letting them sink into your cells. Say them even when you don't believe them. Let them be the baraometer you use to gauge where you are in your relationship with yourself. Some days they will be easy to accept, while other's you'll want to push them as far away as possible. Progress is being able to identify where you are and gifting yourself compassion and grace. 

Journal Prompts for Cultivating Body Neutrality:

Grab your favorite pen and let's get scribbling, gorgeous. These journal prompts will help you dive deeper into your relationship with your body and unearth the hidden gems of self-acceptance:

1. What are three things my body does for me today that I'm grateful for?
2. Describe a part of your body you often criticize. Can you describe it in neutral terms, focusing on its function or appearance without judgment?
3. What are some of the messages I've received about my body throughout my life? How have these messages impacted my self-perception?
4. If I could separate my self-worth from my appearance, what qualities would I value most about myself?
5. What are some ways I can show my body love and respect, regardless of how I feel about it in this moment?
6. Imagine your body as a wise friend. What would it tell you right now?
7. What does it mean to me to live in a body that is enough, just as it is?

Own Your Temple, Goddess

Your body is a source of power, a canvas for pleasure, a living, breathing masterpiece. It's time to reclaim your sovereignty over this sacred space.

Repeat after me, babes:

My body is not a problem to be solved. It's a home to be cherished, a landscape to explore, a masterpiece in progress. I am learning to listen to its wisdom, honor its needs, and celebrate its unique beauty. I am worthy of love and pleasure, simply because I exist.

In our next chapter of Sacred Sensuality, we're diving into the delicious world of pleasure rituals. We'll uncover the secrets of herbal allies, aromatic enchantments, and sensual practices that will ignite your senses and deepen your connection to your body's innate wisdom.

See you on the other side, gorgeous! 😉

Body Neutrality FAQs – Your Burning Questions Answered

Honey, I know this body neutrality thing can feel like uncharted territory. So, let's tackle some of those burning questions you might be pondering:

Q: Isn't body neutrality just another way of saying I don't care about my body?

A: Hell no! Body neutrality isn't about apathy or indifference. It's about shifting your focus from external validation to internal acceptance. It's about recognizing your body as a valuable part of your whole being, deserving of respect and care, regardless of its shape or size.

Q: Does body neutrality mean I can't want to change my body?

A: Absolutely not, darling! Body neutrality isn't about suppressing your desires or goals. It's about creating a safe space for those desires to emerge authentically, without being fueled by shame or self-loathing. Maybe you want to get stronger, healthier, or simply feel more comfortable in your own skin. Body neutrality allows you to pursue those goals from a place of self-love, not self-punishment.

Q: How do I deal with negative thoughts about my body when they inevitably arise?

A: First of all, know that you're not alone. Those pesky thoughts are like annoying gnats – they buzz around, trying to steal your joy. But you have the power to swat them away. When a negative thought pops up, acknowledge it without judgment ("Ah, there's that old story again"), and then gently redirect your attention to something neutral or positive. Remember, you are the queen of your mind, and you get to choose what thoughts you entertain.

Q: Can body neutrality really help me feel more confident and empowered?

A: You bet your sweet ass it can! When you stop battling with your body and start embracing it as your ally, a whole new world of confidence and power opens up. You'll find yourself making choices that truly nourish you, setting boundaries that honor your needs, and radiating a magnetic energy that draws others in.

Q: How long does it take to cultivate body neutrality?

A: Honey, this ain't a race. It's a journey of self-discovery, and everyone's path is unique. Some people experience a shift in perspective relatively quickly, while others may need more time and practice. Be patient with yourself, celebrate your wins, and remember that every small step towards self-acceptance is a victory worth celebrating.

TL;DR (Too Long; Didn't Read):

Here's the rundown

The Problem:

We're disconnected from our bodies due to societal pressures, trauma, and internalized shame.

The Solution:

Body neutrality is the radical act of accepting your body as it is, without judgment. It's a pathway to healing the disconnect between your mind and body

The Tools:

The mirror is your secret weapon. Use it to see yourself, truly see yourself, with compassion and curiosity. Use affirmations, body scans, and grounding techniques to deepen your connection with your physical self.

The Affirmations:

"I see you. I love you. I value you. I appreciate you. I am grateful for you." Speak these truths, even if you don't believe them yet.

The Journey:

This is not an overnight transformation.  Be patient, be kind, and most importantly, be willing to see yourself – truly, deeply, and without apology.