The desert air was thick with the scent of sage and stardust. I stood there, naked as the day I was born, a symphony of goosebumps rippling across my skin as the cool breeze whispered its secrets across my flesh. The moon, a giant pearl in the velvet sky, winked at me knowingly. 

Yeah, she saw it all. 

Hours earlier, fueled by a cocktail of pulsing rhythms, moonlight, and maybe a touch of tequila, I'd shed more than just my clothes. Inhibitions, worries, the weight of the world... they'd all melted away with each hip sway and uninhibited shimmy. This wasn't just some wild, impulsive act; it was a homecoming, a reclamation of the wild, untamed essence that had been simmering beneath the surface for far too long.

But how did I, a self-proclaimed introvert with a penchant for cozy nights and chai lattes, end up dancing naked in the California desert?

The Path to Pleasure: A Journey of Self-Discovery

Look, I'm not gonna lie, that desert dance was a wild ride, a turning point for sure. But it wasn't some sudden, out-of-the-blue thing.

There was a whole journey leading up to it, a winding path paved with self-discovery, pleasure, and a whole lot of unlearning. 

One that occurred when I realized I was tired of seeking love and validation outside of myself. I'd been measuring my worth by the flickering flames of others' affection, forgetting that the most important love story was the one I had with myself. I craved a love that was steady, unconditional, and unwavering—a love that I could only truly find within.

So, I started a new chapter. I began dating myself, literally and figuratively. Long, luxurious baths replaced rushed showers. Dance parties for one became a regular occurrence. I started saying "yes" to things that felt good and "no" to things that drained me. I bought myself flowers, wrote love poetry to myself, and whispered affirmations like scripture over my reflection in the mirror.

I began exploring my body and senses with curiosity and let me tell you, the discoveries were delicious.

As I learned to prioritize my own pleasure, my whole world started to shift. I became more attuned to my own desires, more confident in my choices, and more discerning in my relationships.

And that night in the desert? That was the moment it all crystallized. As I danced under the moon, I felt a surge of energy unlike anything I'd ever experienced. It was as if the universe itself was cheering me on, shouting "Yes! this is who you were always meant to be."

That night in the desert was a revelation. It was the night I truly understood that pleasure is my birthright. My body is a vessel of delight, designed to experience the full spectrum of sensation. And you know what? Yours is too.

Yes, you.

It's Not You, It's Them

 See, the thing is, it's not you who's messed up. It's them. It's society, the culture, the programming that has taught us to deny our desires, to feel ashamed of our bodies, to equate pleasure with sin or selfishness. But it's time to break free from the bullshit.

Rituals to Ignite Your Sacred Sensuality

But how, you ask? How do we undo years of conditioning and reconnect with our sensual selves? Well, at the risk of sounding cliche' "it's a journey, not a destination."

Here are a few rituals to get you started:

1. The Pleasure List: Grab a pen and paper, or open up your Notes app, and start jotting down everything that brings you joy. The taste of chocolate melting on your tongue. The feeling of sand between your toes. The smell of rain on hot pavement. The sound of your favorite song. Make it as long and as detailed as you want. This is your personal treasure map to pleasure.
   
   
2. Mindful Masturbation: This is your solo symphony, a celebration of self-love and exploration. It's a chance to get intimate with your body, to learn what turns you on, to discover the unique landscape of your pleasure. It's not just about achieving an orgasm . It's about slowing down, tuning in, and giving yourself the gift of undivided attention.
   
   
3. The Sensual Sanctuary: Create a sacred space dedicated to pleasure. This could be a whole room, a corner of your bedroom, or space in your bathroom. Fill it with things that ignite your senses—candles, crystals, soft fabrics, sensual scents. This is your haven, a place where you can escape the world and indulge in pure, unadulterated bliss.
   
   

4. Honor Your Desires: Give yourself permission to want what you want, without apology or shame. Whether it's a decadent dessert, a smut novel, or a night of dancing under the stars, don't deny yourself the things that bring you pleasure.

Crafting Your Own Pleasure Rituals:

There are no hard and fast rules here, but here's a simple formula to guide you:

1. Choose an activity that lights you up: It could be anything—dancing, writing, singing, painting, taking a bath, spending time in nature.
   
   
2. Infuse it with intention: Before you start, take a beat to set an intention for pleasure. This could be a simple affirmation like, "I am worthy of pleasure," or a more specific goal like, "I will explore my senses fully in this moment."
   
   
3. Engage all of your senses: Pay attention to the sights, sounds, smells, tastes, and textures of your chosen activity. How does it feel? What emotions does it evoke?
   
   
4. Let go of expectations: Don't worry about doing it "right" or achieving a certain outcome. Allow yourself to be present and enjoy the experience.

Embracing Your Right To Pleasure

Sometimes we fight the very emotions we want to feel. It's almost as if we're afraid to allow ourselves to rest in positive emotions, as if we don't deserve to feel good. Maybe we don't trust our peace, pleasure, and joy, fearing that it will make us complacent, and that suffering is always lurking around the next corner.

There's so much work to be done around allowing ourselves to feel good things without immediately complicating simple acts of pleasure with problematic thought patterns. I encourage you to sit with yourself and question how often you complicate your pleasure with chaos.

Shift your thought process when you find yourself trying to convince yourself that you shouldn't be so calm, so happy, so at ease with whatever is occurring in your life. It doesn't matter if you're in the midst of a trying time. When peace finds you, when pleasure finds you, allow it to find rest and take root inside of your being.

This is your life, your body, your pleasure. It's time to own it.