The Lover Archetype: Our Sex Goddess and Femme Icon

Posted by Ailuros M on November 28, 2023

about her.

She is the body-positive icon, connecting us to the creative force through our sensuality. She is the embodiment of the dark feminine principle of sex for decadent, hedonistic pleasure.

Her energy is warm and alluring. She is Aphrodite incarnate. The lover is the woman who walks into a room and commands attention not with her voice, but with her presence.

She is a passionate creative and idealist who believes in the power of love but only if she gets to maintain her autonomy.

She is deliberate, earthy, and anchored in her physical body. This is a being that doesn’t shy away from being her luscious, provocative self, and that kind of confidence is the reason we can always find a trail of lovers at her feet.

her path.

In the realm of archetypes, the Lover stands as a beacon of passion, beauty, and sensuality. She is the alchemist behind our sexual-creative force and the guide to our passions. Her mission here on earth is to align us with the universal power of love through empathy and self-love. In her, we find the ability to love without sacrificing who we are.

Think of the Lover as the lifeblood of love, the divine muse that ignites our hearts and sets our souls ablaze. She's the force that compels us to connect, to cherish, and to create. Her presence is reason we dance under the stars, sing our hearts out, and find beauty in the mundane.

The Lover archetype is not just about romantic love, though she's certainly a significant player in that arena. It's also about the love we have for ourselves, for family, for friends, and for the world around us. It's the love that makes us want to nurture, to protect, and to leave a lasting mark on the world.

sexuality.

The lover's energy can be quite feline in nature. There is a conscious, deliberate effort in every sway of the hips and that is oftentimes accompanied by a lush husky tone. Borrowing her primal instincts from her sister archetype the huntress, our lovergirl can become downright feral in the pursuit of her desires. I mean, would you expect anything less from the goddess of love?

From the boardroom to the bedroom, the lover archetype understands sex sales. She is confident and stunning as she carefully crafts a sexual narrative that she knows will dazzle her counterpart. Silk robes, lacy panties, toys, scents, and seduction all play their role in the arsenal of the lover archetype. If there's one thing she knows, it's how to fulfill a fantasy.

The woman with the lover as her dominant archetype is hard to miss. She is grounded and earthy in her physical body and doesn’t shy away from a seductive moment. She is provocative and playful and when she has her eye on someone, she is the cat and they are the unsuspecting mouse. She is the one that people can’t help but fall in love with. And when she decides she wants more from her relationships, this can become a big problem.

her shadows.

The low vibrational lover archetype performs like a succubus, using lust as a weapon, constantly chasing the thrill of new, greener grass. Her role as a liberated sex goddess quickly devolves into a dangerous promiscuity that feels more numbing than hedonistic.

The evolving lover will eventually desire a longer-term relationship, which means ditching the social niceties and diving below the surface. This can be problematic for the lover because what sits beyond the surface is never pretty and rarely perfect. Her desire to always remain attractive won’t hold up against the realities of childhood trauma, aging, and other human dynamics.

The lover needs to learn how to choose a partner based on things other than superficiality. Her heavy focus on external validation can lead her into relationships where she exists solely on a performative basis and never gets her emotional needs met. The lover needs to turn her power inward to establish a firm foundation of love on which to choose her partners. She can then stop chasing the ideals of love and create lasting connections.

her “take over the world” team.

As a lover of life and all things pleasure, our little lovebug benefits from being connected to women who mirror her core beliefs while also challenging her to grow and evolve into her highest expression. These beautiful beings do just that.

The huntress is the autonomous, goal-oriented friend who will help her strategize and channel her creative energy into building a life that supports her needs beyond her next romantic encounter. She’s the friend to say “Any man can buy you diamonds and a pretty dress, but the best ones put money in your IRA.”

The queen is the marriage between relationship and power. She mirrors the ambition of the huntress but with the mindset of the mother. She understands the benefits of having a strong union and family dynamic. She will help the lover learn how to embrace the role that comes after falling in love. She offers a show of stability without loss of power. She teaches the lover diplomacy and due to her connections, will probably be the friend who sets her up with her future spouse when she’s ready.

To lighten the load, we introduce the optimistic maiden to the group. Her “down for anything” attitude will keep them all on their toes and serve as a reminder that life is meant to be experienced. The lover and maiden are both free-spirited idealists and will find plenty of common ground in their relationship. The maiden is the friend who will happily take part in whatever fantasy the lover woman can dream up.

your inner lover.

Connecting with any of the goddess types is all about actions. To connect with the lover in you, create pleasure, and indulge in it freely. Research the principles of hedonism, going just a bit deeper than what feels comfortable. Adorn your waist with beads, find new ways to style your hair, and wear things that make you feel more attractive.

Get into your body.

Dance. Whine those hips. Touch yourself intimately.

the lover wound.

We may have been taught early on to repress our creative feminine force through shame and guilt, We may have been taught that the blood we shed every month makes us “unclean” We may have never had conversations about our bodies, sexuality, periods, etc. with the female elders in our lives and were forced to learn about our bodies through our friends and our sexual conquests with men. Some of us may still be unaware of how to state our needs in sexual relationships. There are so many ways that we may carry wounding in these centers and in order to heal them, we first have to acknowledge they exist.